In the Catholic church, Ash Wednesday kicks off the penitential season of Lent. During Lent, Orthodox and Catholic Christians fast, pray and give alms to the needy, to prepare for Christ's resurrection on Easter Sunday. Most of us Catholic think about fasting only during Lent. But we're called by Jesus in the gospels and Our Blessed Mother echoing her son's teaching, to fast regularly. Whether you're Catholic or not, there's a lot to be learned from these disciplines, especially for children. Here are FAQs and tips to teach children and those that aren't Catholic, about fasting and sacrifice.
What is a Lenten fast?
A common question around the Lenten season is "what are you giving up for Lent?" Catholic fasting is about much more than what you're giving up for Lent. During a Lenten fast, people sacrifice, give up or abstain from foods, vices, activities or habits. Sometimes people abstain from negative, unhealthy practices (anger, swearing) Other times, they just fast from treats (candy). Parents, I recommend children choosing a physical and spiritual fast and identifying flip side practices.
Omi’s Simple Definitions:
The Physical Fast: Training the body to say "no" to what it wants (like candy) so we can focus on what we need like vegetables and fruits. (the flip side)
The Spiritual Fast: Training the soul to stop habits that hurt others (like yelling or fighting) and build healthy habits like respect, generosity and kindness.
🥖 Fasting from Food (Physical)
Fasting from food is the act of voluntarily abstaining from certain meals, specific types of food (like meat), or treats (like sweets) for a set period.
The Goal: It is a form of self-discipline designed to master physical desires. In a religious context, the "hunger" felt during a food fast serves as a reminder of spiritual hunger and a way to practice "dying to self."
Examples: Eating only one full meal a day, abstaining from meat on Fridays, or "giving up" soda or chocolate.
The flip side. Living more sustainably by eating simpler, grain and vegetable based meals.
✨ Spiritual Fasting (Interpersonal)
Spiritual fasting (often called a "fast of the heart") involves abstaining from negative behaviors, attitudes, or habits that hurt your relationship with others or your own peace of mind.
The Goal: The purpose is to "empty" oneself of toxic traits to make room for virtues like patience, kindness, and humility. It focuses on the internal landscape rather than the stomach.
Examples: Fasting from complaining, gossip, sarcasm, laziness, or angry outbursts.
- The flip side: Replacing those with better habits.
So it's not just about giving stuff up and not doing things?
No and that's a good question. It's actually impossible to "not do" something. And here's why (kids, you'll love this one!)
🧠 The "White Bear" Problem
If I tell you, "Whatever you do, do not think of a white bear," what is the first thing that pops into your head? A white bear!
To check if you are successfully not thinking about the bear, your brain has to constantly "monitor" for it. This keeps the very thing you are trying to avoid right at the front of your mind.
🚫 The Vacuum Principle
Think of your habits like a glass of chocolate milk. When you suck the milk out with a straw, the glass doesn't stay empty—air rushes in to fill that space immediately!
Our lives are just like that glass. You can’t just "empty" a bad habit out and leave a hole. If you don't intentionally fill that space with a new, good habit, the old one will just rush back in to fill the vacuum!
There is a famous myth that houses "explode" during a tornado because the low pressure (the vacuum) inside the funnel causes the air inside the house to push outward. Science tells us this isn't true.
It’s not the "nothingness" of the vacuum that destroys the house—it is the violent rush of air trying to get into that empty space. When we leave a "vacuum" in our character by simply stopping a bad habit without replacing it, we invite a spiritual windstorm to rush in and cause a collapse!
So what should I do?
Another great question! You are so smart! Instead of just emptying the old we must learn replacement behaviors. This is because:
Willpower is a limited resource: It takes a lot of energy to "stop" a thought or action. That silly white bear will keep running back in the more you try to keep him out!
Action is easier than inaction: The brain prefers to do a new task rather than try to maintain a state of doing nothing. So we think about a blue frog instead!
🎡 The Power of the PivotThink of your brain like a steering wheel. You can't just "not turn left" to avoid a ditch; you have to physically turn the wheel to the right to stay on the road.
Fasting works the same way. We don't just "not fight"—which keeps our minds stuck on the conflict—we pivot toward kindness. This gives our hands and hearts something active to do!
Here are things to stop doing (white bears) with friend blue frogs to start doing.
The angry outburst blue frogs get their own chart because that one's a little trickier to do. And Teacher Omi ought to know because she really struggles with that particular white bear! 💓😘😬😮😻
🔄 The White Bear & Blue Frog Swap Chart
| The White Bear (Stop Doing...) | The Blue Frog (Start Doing...) | Omi’s "Pro-Tip" |
| Complaining | Giving Thanks | Keep a "Gratitude Jar" on the counter for the whole family. |
| Gossiping | Spreading Happy News | Be the one who tells a "success story" about someone else. |
| Negative Self-Talk | Finding 10 Nice Things | If you think one bad thought, you owe yourself 10 compliments! |
| Sarcasm | Genuineness & Transparency | Say exactly what you mean with kindness; skip the "backhanded" jokes. |
| Laziness / Avoiding | Doing the "Hard Thing" First | Tackle the task you’re avoiding right away to clear the mental fog. |
| Angry Outbursts | The "Cool Down" Routine | Breathe, count to 100, and ask for help before speaking. |
| Meat-Heavy Meals | Fish, Veggies & Alternative Proteins | Experiment with that TVP or those "Meat-Swapper" beans! |
| Endless TV Time | Active Family Adventures | Trade the remote for a board game or a walk to the park. |
| Video Games | Reading, Writing, or Praying | Dive into a story or a journal to fill that creative space. |
| Social Media / Phones | Face-to-Face Interaction | Put the phones in a "parking lot" basket during dinner. |
| Driving Everywhere | Walking | Get some fresh air and move your body for those short trips. |
| Throwing Stuff Away | Recycling & Repurposing |
🐸 The "Angry Outburst" Blue Frog Checklist
Instead of reacting with a "White Bear" roar, pivot to these Blue Frog skills:
- 💨 Take a deep breath: Fill your lungs slowly to tell your brain you are safe.
- 🔢 Count to 10 (or 100!): Give your "steering wheel" time to turn toward calm.
- 🧐 The "Think" Pause: Ask yourself: "What is actually bothering me right now?"
- 🤝 The Help Check: Decide if this is a problem a grown-up or a friend can help you solve.
- 🙋 Ask for Help: Use your words to say, "I am feeling frustrated. Can you help me?"
- 🐢 The Turtle Talk: Mindfully speak slowly and calmly to keep the "windstorm" away.
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